For those of you who crinkled their nose in disgust while reading the title of this Post, you are obviously still curious about it because you're reading this. It's not as scary as it sounds nor does it end in a yucky mess. Those with open minds will lead a hell of sex life - and in my opinion, that is something very important to have.
I've realized, compared to two years ago, anal sex has become more of a comfortable topic. More girls are willing to describe their experience with curious friends and guys are willing to admit they fantasize about it. For those of us who are with a partner and want to maybe possibly try out this hush hush position, I'm going to - with the best of my ability - describe, give tips on and hopefully persuade you to try anal exploration.
For starters, did you know that the anus contains a ton of sensitive nerves?? For some, it's their most revved up erogenous zone. Normally we only pay attention to that region when the potty calls but any contact can actually be very stimulating. And the good news for you who hate the idea of getting anything the color of chocolate on you or anywhere else - the lower rectum is normally always empty. So unless you've been scarfing down prunes and metamucil beforehand, you're in the clear.
Where to begin?
Most importantly - before even buying a lubricant for the part-ay, there needs to be an agreement. A verbal agreement. No thoughts like, "Well she wears tight pants that show her booty, she must take it up there". No. No surprises. This is not usually the kind of surprise a girl will be thankful for and give you oral sex in return, buddy. Instead you will end your night with a bloody nose and blue balls.
Girls - like ANYTHING else, you don't have to do it. And there should be no forcing or thoughts of keeping the relationship together by doing this favor. It shouldn't be a favor because it is for the both of you. It just takes patience, understanding partners, lots o' lube and relaxation.
Here are a few ways to slowly step in to anal sex...BUT! Let's do a hygiene check first, shall we? Hands washed? Bottle o' lube ready? Nails trimmed, filed and buffed? Excellent! Let's start...
Mutual masturbation: Just because during intercourse, it's a little difficult to have sex, stimulate the clitoris and insert a finger in the anus all at the same time when it's the first time. Just like it teaches the other what feels good, your partner can study how careful he needs to be and how quickly or slowly you need it to happen.
*********IMPORTANT!!!! WHATEVER IS BEING USED (finger(s), penis, dildo, plug, rolling pin), NEEDS TO BE LUBED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!************
Foreplay/Erotic Massage: While rubbing or eroticly massaging her sweet spots down there, head over to the perineum (area between her vagina and anus - you have it too, guys). In a circular motion, gently use two fingers to massage the area. Then if you can handle two things at once, try pressing a little firmer with that hand while rubbing the clitoris with the other. This will get her hormones flying which will then hopefully get her ready for your fingers to travel to the anus.
This is when you should coat one index finger with lube, rub around the anus and SLOWLY...S L O W L Y insert your finger. READ her body language, listen to her commands. Stop as soon as she says stop. Slow down as soon as she says slow down. I told you: it takes patience.
Now for the last level, the graduation, the diploma....Anal Sex.
The positions!
Girl on her back with knees to her chest
Doggy style
Standing, bent over
The tools!
LUBE
The benefits!
More intense orgasms! More options in the bedroom and more fantasies to fulfill.
Ladies...you need to focus on you. You need to be comfortable so whatever it takes to get you there, do it. Rub on your clitoris, breath in and out slowly, have you partner try his fingers first - you, my dear, are in command. Be verbal, make the calls. It is NOT going to be peachy the first time. But if it were so terrible, it wouldn't be so popular. You just need time to map out your own process. Watch some porn before, have your man go down on you, fantasize! I can't stress enough the importance of being 100% comfortable! I even heard doing it in front of a mirror helps. So...try that too!
Once all of this is one of your favorite things to do behind closed doors, you can experiment further. I mentioned butt plugs earlier - they're used to keep in the anus during intercourse. Dildos can also be used. Use a vibrator on the clitoris or even around the anus during vaginal sex. It's all about being creative and exploring to find out what creates fireworks.
I really hope this long post has somewhat answered your questions regarding anal sex. Always remember the key elements: patience, understanding partners, lots of lubrication and relaxation. Good luck!!!!!!!!
5 comments:
i'm totally trying this so soon & i'm nervousish, but way less so now!
Hoorraaaay Anal Blogging!! :O)
Ok folks. Here's something very very very very very important to ALWAYS remember when doing ANYTHING ANAL:
DO NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT put anything that's been in your anus into your vagina. This is BAD! There is a ton of bacteria in this area and can cause infection if put into your vagina. This means a) if you're expirementing with fingers, use different fingers in either hole b)if you're having anal sex, switch condoms or make sure anal comes last or that he washes off in between, and c) if you're using a toy, don't take it from your anus and insert into the vagina. Wash it first!!! Better yet, Buy a toy specifically for anal pleasure.
Whichhhh is something else thats fun. Jenn already mentioned the kinds of toys there are for this kind of stimulation. There are TONS to chose from. If you're scared, start small.
There are toys pinky sized.
Pinky sized and penis shaped.
There are butt plugs in alll sizes. Slender cylinders, Fat cones.
Different lengths.
There are toys for anal pleasure that vibrate.
There are ones that are made for double penetration (if you are courageous, this comes highly recommended. You can use a plug and a dildo, vibrator, etc. Very good times).
The best toy, in my opinion, are anal beads. Not the kind on a string; the kind that looks like a weird magic wand, with a very fat bead all the way at the base, and a very small bead at the tip. The beads are all different sizes, so you can control what size of bead you want to expirement with. This is very rewarding when you find that you want to try to go as deep as all of the beads.
Having talked about the toys and ensuring anal is good clean fun, I'm going to add a second blog on a different topic- about the personal/emotional/fear aspect.
So. Anal Sex. Sounds scary?
Well, it is.
Then again, so was riding a bike for the first time, right??
The first time you rode a bike, you probably put on your helmet and knee pads, relaxed, gathered all your confidence, got on the bike, made it about halfway down the road, then lost balance and fell. Maybe you hurt yourself by falling... but eventually, you got up and gave it another shot right? You were curious, you wanted to try again.
I think this is like anal penetration. Your first time, you're going to want to put on your "helmet" and lube up really well. You're going to want to relax. When you insert the object, you might not make it all the way in. You might even feel like the insertion is a little bit uncomfortable... but you take control and only go as far as you can handle. If you are curious, you can always give it another shot!
So. Ladies, Gentlemen.
I highly suggest trying anal with a toy first. A small, slender toy; or a finger. If you enjoy how this feels, practice with this item, then gradually move up the scale. Longer toys, wider toys, shaped toys. They can all be an excellent source of pleasure. Using a toy gives you the control to do what you want, which can make your first time very rewarding. Also if you start with small toys, either alone or with your partner, you can gradually move from using a toy to anal sex with more comfort.
Now. Anal Sex.
Some people, like myself, need to trust my partner completely to be able to engage in anal sex. I was in a relationship where I did not feel comfortable with my partner and he somehow forced me into anal penetration one night. I won't lie- it was the worst experience of my life.
HOWEVER. I will never tell someone not to try!!! My one bad experience (with a bad partner) was one out of many Many MANY wonderful ones. This makes the tips I have for you straight from experience.
Having anal sex is something you want to do in a relaxed mood. Clenching your muscles will make it harder for penetration and can generally make the first experience uncomfortable. A penis is a relatively large object to be inserting into a small, but extremely flexible hole, so lubrication is also very important.
Anal penetration can enhance other activites as well. If you're in the position to be playing/touching your partner with your hands while kissing, massaging and "poking" can add some extra excitement. Some people enjoy "rimming" or orally stimulating the anus- but any sensation involving the anus should be O.K.'d by your partner- this is one area where surprises are not a good idea.
Anal penetration can seem intimidating, but if you have the courage to try it... you have a great chance of finding it quite pleasurable.
Allright.
Having talked about how lovely toys can be; I would like to address the fact that for a lot of people, the thought of anything going into the anus is terrifying, disgusting, painful, etc.
However.
I personally feel like anal insertion is a lot like riding a bike. The first time you do it, you want to wear a helmet (lots of lube). You want to be comfortable and have the right size bike (probably a slender toy or finger). You'll get on (or in) and maybe only make it a few feet (or centimeters). You might fall and hurt yourself (feel like the sensation is strange or uncomfortable). You might hop on the bike and never look back (move towards bigger and better toys!) If you fell and got scared (discomfort), you might want to walk away and try again later (curiosity is a wonderful thing!!). The bike, your toy, and your bum aren't going anywhere, and you should only go as far as you are comfortable with.
Having said all this, anal insertion is something you might want to try alone on the first time to gain confidence. The whole idea can be greatly intimidating, and if you're comfortable trying with small items on your own to see how it feels--- do it. Then you can try it with your partner--- with a toy or finger while being intimate, or ultimately for anal sex.
Ah. Anal Sex.
Let me tell you something. Anal sex, like any kind of anal penetration, can be a wonderfully sensual and exciting experience. If any one out there is like me, however, it is best done with someone you Trust.
I have been in the situation where anal sex was forced onto me by someone who did not respect my wishes. That experience was horrific, and that is why I tell you all who are nervous about anal insertion to try it alone first. See if you like it. Introduce toys or the idea slowly to a partner.
Even despite this experience I had, I am still here goading you all to try it for yourself. And the reason for this??
After the bad experience, I tried it alone, with my control. Knowing I could stop whenever I wanted, apply whatever pressure I wanted, however fast or deep I wanted. Do Whatever I Wanted. Annnd I liked it. Whats more, I loved it. Stimulation there can enhance just about any sexual/intimate experience--- but like any other experience, you should talk this over with your partner before "giving" any anal pleasure.
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