A blow job does not mean we literally blow air on the penis...

It almost brings me to tears when I hear stories of females literally blowing on a penis. But I guess we all have to start somewhere, right?

I still believe that the best place to learn how to give oral is in front of your computer screen/tv with some good porn on.
In case you don’t know what good porn is or you’re one of the few who hasn’t peeked at a site online, here are some tips for your guys tip.

First, let’s get to know Mr. Woody himself. Rather than go in to grand detail, let’s chop it up (not literally) in to three sections: (1) the Head (2) the Shaft (3) the Sack/balls

If you don’t know where these are, please google “the penis”…and never admit that to anyone.
Basically, the head is a lot like the clitoris. The chief in command. The most sensitive sweet spot. The shaft is a muscle which also holds many nerve endings to entice.
Last but not least, the sack aka “the balls” or “the twins” or the old “berries”. These boys vary for every male. Some sets are so sensitive they can’t be touched. Others may enjoy a firm grip and possible squeezing.

I’ve heard too many guys complain about dissatisfaction. What’s going on? Well for starters we should all know the first problem…say it with me now
Mis-com-mun-icATION
Good, good. But moving on so we can have an interesting blog here, girls get a pad and paper.
First, you must know your boundaries. Would you prefer swallowing, spitting or a nice roll of toilet paper on your side table? Are you comfortable with sitting, kneeling, him laying down, etc?
My advice? Start basic. Then go on with your creative-self.
Sit him down on a couch or chair. With one hand, hold on to the shaft as if it were a microphone. No white knuckles please – you want the blood to be flowing to the tip. Pretending it’s a lollipop, start with the head. It is very important to remember NOT TO USE YOUR PEARLY WHITES. Unless requested, please try to keep them out of the way. Also, use enough saliva throughout the session. Avoid flooding but don’t leave skid marks!
After a few licks and strokes of the tongue, begin experimenting with how much you can take in. With enough saliva and a relaxed throat, a sufficient, pleasurable amount should be able to go in your mouth. To avoid gagging go sloooooow.

Unlike us, boys don’t need repetitive movement until the end. Switch up the performance a little. For example, pretend it’s an icecream cone starting at the base. Making sure there’s enough saliva available, flatten and soften the tongue a bit. Go from base to tip a few times, pausing at the tip to give it some attention. Circle the tip with your tongue. Then go back to the regular up and down motions.
Note:
Please understand you are not competing in a race. There is no reason for sucking the life out of him – only in a good way. Make sure your lips, moist with saliva, are firm around the penis but not ready to stop circulation. Remember, you want to last long enough without aching cheeks and jaw bones.
Before orgasm, you will notice the shaft getting a little firmer and it may start lightly throbbing. Other signs may include:
-clenching fists
-curling toes
-eyes rolling backwards
-other exorcist imitations
-drooling
-light moans
-balls get harder and smaller as if preparing for explosion
Of course, all guys are different so be sure to pay attention to signs. Better for you to prepare for the finale, than to be surprised.
If you swallow, at the point where he may start to shake and jerk forward, quickly make sure the head is towards the back of the throat, away from the taste buds. Wait for a few seconds, pull penis out and swallow. To avoid gagging, arch the back of the tongue to block the throat. This stops the sperm from aiming at your tonsils. You’ve done a great job, you don’t want to end with a choking scene.
If you spit, please e-mail me why.
If you do neither, make sure he gives verbal warning or at least a tap on the head.

Once he finishes, his friend is at its most sensitive state. Leave the penis to kiss him elsewhere lightly. Maybe even a light massage will do or just leave him be.

Then..the best part...sit back and watch his possessed state. He may stare in to space for a while. He may profess his love to you. Or he may pull the ultimate guy move, to which you should NOT GET PISSED OFF ABOUT...he may turn on the tv. Deal with it. Just think of the things that relaxes you that do not involve him. Do you want him to interrupt? No.

Good luck!!! Leave any other comments or your experiences - funny or serious.

xoxoxo

Aphrodisiacs!

Luckily for me, doing some research on Aphrodisiacs has been very entertaining. Personally, I am very interested and intrigued by sexual practices of the 15th, 16th, 17th centuries and of course before and after. Coincidently, many of these foods and medicine are stemmed from these times when sexual attraction was just as important as ruling land. Some of the most popular leaders are arguably known more for seduction techniques, orgy rituals and multiple partners (ie: Cleopatra and King Henry VII) than any political or leadership skills.

But back to aphrodisiacs! Many scientists and nutritionists today are trying to disapprove aphrodisiacs. How boring, I say! Food, too, can be sexy whether they have a chemical in them or not. Some may just look pleasurable (oysters, bananas, chocolate covered strawberries) and deserve to be present during a romantic evening.

By definition, an aphrodisiac enhances/stimulates/intensifies/restores sexual desire. (phew!) The word itself is originated by, of course, Aphrodite who is the Greek Goddess of Love and Beauty. Chemicals in certain foods enhance male performance, maintains male functionality or secrete pheromones. Actually, there are some delicacies so rare, the thought of eating the dish is a turn on. For example: the puffer fish. When cooked, if the poisonous gland is not properly removed, the ittiest bittiest taste will kill you! Danger doesn’t exactly turn me on but as we know, everyone is different.

Most Popular Aphrodisiacs
Asparagus
Chicken
Chocolate
Yohimbe
Spanish Fly
Oysters
Pine Nuts
Truffles
Sea Cucumber
Turtle Eggs
Alcohol
Bananas
Caviar
Champagne
Figs
Ginseng

I think we can come to the conclusion that what makes a particular food an aphrodisiac; they may contain a chemical that arouses sexual power, it may remind us of a sex organ (again, oysters and bananas) or possess a rarity in its kind.
So to the scientists and researchers out there who don’t believe in aphrodisiacs, I say pop open a bottle of champagne, dine on some oysters, finish with some figs and chocolate and GET LAID.


Care to impress your sweety during Valentine’s Day, his/her birthday or a random Wednesday? 
Along with the interesting “factual” information I’ve found, of course I’ve found the not-so-factual information, or at least I hope it wouldn’t be true!

Odd Aphrodisiacs
Bulls Testicles (19th Century)
Rat Poison and Pepper mixed with Gin (creates a burning, yet pleasurable feeling to the genitals)
Snake Blood (Easter Asia)
Eating live Beetles
Toad Venom
Goat Testicles boiled in Milk
Black Russian Cake
Deer Antlers




Feel free to check out any references I’ve used to further enjoy learning about aphrodisiacs!!!

http://www.publishingcircles.com
http://www.medhunters.com
http://www.wikopedia.com
http://www.about.com
http://www.forbes.com
http://www.tlc.discovery.com
http://www.stirredup.net
http://www.aphrodisiology.com